This planet has -- or rather had -- a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

Acquaintance, n.: A person whom we know well enough to borrow from, but not well enough to lend to.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.

"If a person gets his attitude toward money straight, it will help straighten out almost every other area in his life."

"Money is in some respects like fire; it is a very excellent servant, but a terrible master."

"Our economy is based upon people wanting more--their happiness on wanting less."

The Consumer Federation of America (CFA) recently released a study by Georgetown University sociologist Robert Manning, indicating that some college students are forced to cut back on their courses or spend more time working to pay off their credit card debts. About 70 percent of students at four-year colleges have at least one credit card, and revolving debt on these cards averages more than $2,000. In worst case scenarios, some students are dropping out of school in order to work full time. In a separate study, conducted last fall by the U.S. Public Interest Research Group, it was noted that students lured into signing up for credit cards by companies offering free T-shirts, Frisbees and other items typically end up with bigger unpaid balances than those who sign up on their own. (Reported on AOL, AP-NY-06-08-99 2138EDT)

Put a dollar bill on the underside of a few chairs in the room. At some point in the talk have everyone stand and lift their chairs over their heads. "Sometimes you have to get off your butt to make a buck!"

Men have pursued joy in every avenue imaginable. Some have successfully found it while others have not. Perhaps it would be easier to describe where joy cannot be found: Not in Unbelief -- Voltaire was an infidel of the most pronounced type. He wrote: "I wish I had never been born." Not in Pleasure -- Lord Byron lived a life of pleasure if anyone did. He wrote: "The worm, the canker, and grief are mine alone." Not in Money -- Jay Gould, the American millionaire, had plenty of that. When dying, he said: "I suppose I am the most miserable man on earth." Not in Position and Fame -- Lord Beaconsfield enjoyed more than his share of both. He wrote: "Youth is a mistake; manhood a struggle; old age a regret." Not in Military Glory -- Alexander the Great conquered the known world in his day. Having done so, he wept in his tent, before he said, "There are no more worlds to conquer." Where then is real joy found? -- the answer is simple, in Christ alone. The Bible Friend, Turning Point, May, 1993

Michael Jordan will make over $300 000 a game : $10 000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming $40 million in endorsements this year, he’ll be making $178100 a day (working or not)! Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it’ll cost him $7 , but he’ll make $18 550 while he’s there. If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he’ll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7 415 per hour more than the minimum wage (after the wage hike). He’ll make $3 710 while watching each episode of Friends. If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2 every second. He’d probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33 390 for that round. Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account, he will hit the federal cap of $9 500 for such accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1998. If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you’d be living comfortably at $65 000 a year. He’ll make about $19.60 while watching the hundred meter dash in the Olympics. He’ll make about $15600 while the Boston Marathon is being run. While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he’ll pull in about $5600. Next year he’ll make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all their terms combined. Amazing, isn’t it? BUT: Jordan will have to save 100% of his income for 270 years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates today !

"Funny how a dollar can look so big when you take it to church, and so small when you take it to the store."

A well-dressed European woman was on safari in Africa. The group stopped briefly at a hospital for lepers. The hear was intense, the flies buzzing. She noticed a nurse bending down in the dirt, tending to the pus-filled sores of a leper. With disdain the woman remarked, "Why, I wouldn't do that for all the money in the world!" The nurse quietly replied, "Neither would I."

A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did our research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no." "--or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "--or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again "--so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!?"

The stockbroker received notice from the IRS that he was being audited. He showed up at the appointed time and place with all his financial records, then sat for what seemed like hours as the accountant pored over them. Finally the IRS agent looked up and commented, "You must have been a tremendous fan of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle." "Why would you say that?" wondered the broker. "Because you've made more brilliant deductions on your last three returns than Sherlock Holmes made in his entire career."

SCAM ALERT! WARNING! PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS! If you get an envelope from a company called the "Internal Revenue Service," DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year. Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects. This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind. These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of dollars. Don't be among them! FORWARD THIS MESSAGE TO EVERYONE YOU KNOW!

A sobbing little girl stood near a small church. It was so crowded she couldn't get inside. She saw her pastor nearby and cried, "I can't go to Sunday School!" Seeing her shabby appearance, the pastor took her by the hand and found a place for her in her classroom. The little girl was so touched that she went to bed that night thinking of the children who have no place to worship Jesus. Two years later, the child died in a wretched tenement building. The parents called for the pastor who had so befriended her earlier. They found her worn, crumpled purse with 57 cents in it and this note: "This is to help build the little church bigger so more children can go to Sunday School." That 57 cents represented two years of saving and work. The next Sunday, the pastor carried the cracked, red pocketbook to the pulpit and told the story. He challenged his people to get busy and equal that child's dedication. A newspaper got the story and published it. It was read by a realtor who gave them a huge parcel of land. Checks started coming from far and wide. Within five years the gift of 57 cents had increased to hundreds of thousands of dollars - and this was a hundred years ago! A beautiful church was built. Next time you're in Philadelphia, visit Temple Baptist Church that seats Thousands, and also visit Temple University where thousands of students are trained. Visit a Sunday School building which houses hundreds of children. In one of the rooms of this building may be seen the picture of the sweet face of the little girl whose 57 cents so sacrificially saved made such remarkable history. Alongside her picture is a portrait of her pastor, Dr. Russell H. Conwell. That's right, he's the man who wrote "Acres of Diamonds."

You remember that among the Franks, whole armies were sometimes given baptism at one stroke, and many warriors went into the water with their right hands held high so that they did not get wet. Then they could say, "This hand has never been baptized," and they could swing their battle axes just as freely as ever. The modern counterpart of that partial baptism is seen in many people who have been baptized, all except their pocketbooks. They held these high out of the water.

You may be wondering if subliminal advertising works. That's an interesting question. (Send us money.) The American public was first introduced to the idea of subliminal advertising in 1957 by James M. Vicary. In a press conference announcing the formation of the Subliminal Projection Company, Vicary claimed that he was able to increase sales of popcorn and Coke through the use of subliminal advertising. (Send us lots of money.) According to Vicary, during a six-week test in a movie theater, he was able to drive up sales of popcorn by 57.5% and sales of Coke by 18.1% simply by flashing the slogans "drink Coke" and "eat popcorn" over the movie for 1/3,000th of a second every five seconds. (You want to send us money.) As plausible as his assertions might have been, there was little evidence to support them. (Send us money.) For one thing, Vicary refused to reveal where he conducted his experiment or document it in any meaningful way. What's more, psychologists who performed similar experiments concluded that a subliminal ad was no more compelling than a billboard glimpsed from the corner of the eye. (Send us your money.) In an effort to vindicate his claim, Vicary agreed to run the subliminal message "telephone now" during a Canadian broadcast. Like other documented cases, the experiment failed. Telephone usage didn't increase noticeably, and not a single viewer guessed Vicary's message. (Send us money.) While neither this experiment nor previous experiments disproved conclusively the effectiveness of subliminal ads, American broadcasters were so convinced of the ineffectiveness of subliminal messages that they simply volunteered not to run them. (You have an urge to send us money.) BTW, If you're still unconvinced and would like to see more research on the subject, you'll be happy to know that we're running our own little subliminal experiment. We can't tell you about it now, but in the coming weeks we'll reveal our findings. By the way, if you ever need to reach us--for any reason--our mailing address is: Frank & Sandy Luke 1328 N. Frisco, Apt. C Springfield, MO 65802

Dear Dad, $chool i$ really great. I am making lot$ of friend$ and $tudying very hard. With all my $tuff, I $imply can't think of anything I need, $o if you would like, you can ju$t $end me a card, a$ I would love to hear from you. Love, Your $on. =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-= Dear Son, I kNOw that astroNOmy, ecoNOmics, and oceaNOgraphy are eNOugh to keep even an hoNOr student busy. Do NOt forget that the pursuit of kNOwledge is a NOble task, and you can never study eNOugh. Love, Dad

OIL SHORTAGE There are a lot of folks who can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in the USA. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. All the oil is in Texas, Oklahoma, Alaska, etc. All the dipsticks are in Washington D.C.

Wealthy retired Italian law professor Giacinto Auriti began in July to circulate a private currency, called the "simec," among citizens (and about 40 shopkeepers) in the town of Guardiagrele (about 125 miles from Rome), to "prove" his longstanding theory that any currency, if put in the hands of consumers instead of banks, yields more purchasing power. Auriti prints the simecs, sells them at par with the lira, and then guarantees to merchants that he will redeem them at double their value (by paying out from his family fortune), thereby encouraging merchants to lower their prices. The simec has caused an explosion of consumer sales, but the government believes the whole idea is ridiculous and will collapse as soon as Auriti stops guaranteeing simecs' value.

Q. What did the Buddhist Monk say to the hot-dog vendor? A. Make me one with everything. Upon receiving the hot dog the monk paid with a $20 bill, which the vendor promptly pocketed. "Why didn't you give me my change?" asked the monk. "Because," said the vendor, "change must come from within."

The old guy fingered his worsted wool vest and said, "Well, son, it was 1932. The depth of the Great Depression. I was down to my last nickel. I invested that nickel in an apple. I spent the entire day polishing the apple and, at the end of the day, I sold the apple for ten cents. The next morning, I invested those ten cents in two apples. I spent the entire day polishing them and sold them at 5:00 pm for 20 cents. I continued this system for a month, by the end of which I'd accumulated a fortune of $1.37. Then my wife's father died and left us two million dollars."

The Romans had a proverb which said that money was like sea-water; the more a man drank the thirstier he became.

It's not that's there's not enough water in the well, it's that the drinking trough isn't long enough for all the horses.

Proof that Women are Evil: Money = Root of All Evil Women = Time * Money Time = Money Women = Money^2 Women = (Root of All Evil)^2 Women = Evil

"Two strangers happen to be on a cruise ship that wrecks, and they make it to a desert island. The first guy starts freaking out and roaming the whole island looking for anything that might help them get off. The second guy just leans back under a tree and relaxes. Pretty soon this starts to irritate the first guy, so he starts ripping on the other guy. "Don’t you care that we’re stranded?” “Oh, we’ll be rescued.” “How can you be so sure?” “I’m a Christian.” “Well whoop-te-doo. Pray or something. Don’t just sit there.” “No, you don’t understand—I’m a Christian and I make a million dollars a week.” “Your money’s not gonna help you out here. I don’t see any boat stores.” “No, you don’t understand—I’m a Christian and I make a million dollars a week and I tithe. My pastor will find me!”

Some think that the Old Testament is stricter than the New, but they are judging wrongly: they are fooling themselves. The old Law did not punish the desire to hold onto wealth: it punished theft. But now the rich man is not condemned because he has taken the property of others: rather, he is condemned for not giving his own property away.

Wealth, which leads men the wrong way so often, [should be] seen less for its own qualities than for the human misery it stands for. The large rooms of which you are so proud are in fact your shame. They are big enough to hold crowds -- and also big enough to shut out the voice of the poor! ... The poor man cries before your house, and you pay no attention. There is your brother, naked, crying, and you stand there, confused over the choice of an attractive floor covering.

Every day the church here (in Antioch] feeds 3000 people. Besides this, the church daily helps provide food and clothes for prisoners, the hospitalized, pilgrims, cripples, churchmen, and others. If only ten [other groups of] people were willing to do this, there wouldn't be a single poor man left in town.

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well. -The Lion February, 2001

TODAY'S STOCK MARKET REPORT: Part 1 Helium was up. Feathers were down. Paper was stationary.

How much people gave in the Old Testament is hazy. Most people say 10 percent. That's true for starters, because in the Old Testament there were several types of mandatory giving. There was compulsory giving for each person who considered himself faithful to the Covenant; it was not optional. First there was a tithe called the Lord's tithe, or the Levites' tithe, because it went to support the priests and the ministry in the tabernacle and the temple. Leviticus 27:30 stipulates a tenth of everything from the land—whether grain from the soil or fruit from the trees—belonged to the Lord. It is holy to the Lord. Ten percent of all their produce and animals was also required. A man who did not comply was considered to be disobeying the law and robbing God. Malachi 3:8 says, "Will a man rob God? Yet you rob me. You ask, 'How do we rob you?' In tithes and offerings." Then there was a second tithe called the festival tithe. Deuteronomy 12:10-11 says, "You will cross the Jordan and settle in the land the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance. And he will give you the rest from all your enemies around you so that you will live in safety. Then to the place the Lord your God will choose as a dwelling for his name, you are to bring everything I command you—your burnt offerings and sacrifices, your tithes," that is your tenths and special gifts, "and all the choice possessions you have vowed to the Lord." And that festival tithe was to be used for religious celebration, to bring family and friends together. So you have two compulsory ten percent tithes. You're up to 20 percent. There was yet another tithe termed the poor tithe. Deuteronomy 14:28-29 says, "At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year's produce and store it in your towns so that the Levites, who have no allotment or inheritance of their own and the aliens, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied; so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands." He says every three years there is to be a ten percent tithe for helping people in poverty. That breaks down to about three percent per year. This means mandatory tithes for faithful Israelites were 23 percent of their income annually—a tithe for the priesthood, a tithe for national religious feasts, and a tithe that aided the poor—all compulsory. It didn't end there. There was a mandatory type of profit sharing with the poor. Leviticus 19:9-10 says, "When you reap the harvest of your land, do not reap to the very edges of your field or gather the gleanings of your harvest. Do not go over your vineyard a second time or pick up the grapes that have fallen. Leave them to the poor and alien. I am the Lord your God." It was not a large amount, perhaps one or two percent, but that was to be left. You were to be generous with what was left in your field. There were other requirements. For example, there was a third-of-a-shekel temple charge required to pay for materials for temple worship. All in all, a faithful Israelite was required to give between 23 and 25 percent of his income per year. That was mandatory. Then came volunteer, free-will giving—grace-giving we call it—which included first-fruits giving and free-will offerings. An Israelite who loved the Lord, in addition to his 23 to 25 percent, would give the first fruits of his crop to God. He would survey his fields for the best part of it. He would harvest it and take the best part to the Lord, before the harvest, trusting that God would multiply his harvest. So it was faith giving—it was entirely voluntary. Finally, there were free-will offerings given for special projects such as building the tabernacle. The Lord said to Moses, "Tell the Israelites to bring me an offering. You are to receive the offering from each man whose heart prompts him to give." It's not mandatory. It comes from the heart. The entire emphasis is free will, joyous, over and above the 23 to 25 percent. The ideal in the Old Testament was grace giving, whether it was mandatory or voluntary. It was to come from the heart. It was meant to be offered to God with great rejoicing. Some were giving 30 percent. Some were giving 40 percent. It was huge. That is the Old Covenant.

** MEMBERS CHALLENGED TO LIVE ON TITHE FOR WEEK It is called Miracle Sunday--the day when the congregation of Life Center in Lakewood, California, takes a collective leap of faith. The challenge: to live on 10 percent of a week's wages while giving the 90 percent in a thanks offering. "We received a promise from the Lord: 'If you'll help water the deserts of the world, I will tend your garden at home,'" said Pastor Charles E. Atherton about the challenge God gave his church a quarter century ago. The Miracle Sunday offering collected each November is donated to a variety of ministries and outreaches, ranging from Teen Challenge to the nearby Westminster First Vietnamese Assembly of God. Life Center has collected more than $1 million the past 25 years. In 1978, Life Center needed funds to expand, but leaders sensed God directing them not to borrow. Instead, through the concept of reverse tithing, the church raised $79,984 for the building. By 1990, with the church's debts paid, Miracle Sunday became an outreach, with teenagers and children also contributing. "The idea is more about participation than amount," Atherton said. "It's equal sacrifice, not equal giving." Atherton said God enables church members to make the sacrifice. "Most people's budgets are already overextended, but when they give on Miracle Sunday, it's a miracle that they don't miss the funds," Atherton said. "God provides other ways. It's a whole way to demonstrate our trust, faith and confidence in God."

Have you ever heard yourself say, "I wouldn't do that for $1 million"? In Bernice Kanner's book, Are You Normal About Money?, Americans reveal just how far they'd go to make a buck: For $1 million: 65 percent would live on a deserted island for a year. 30 percent would spend six months in jail for a crime they didn't commit. For $3,000: 24 percent would reveal a friend's deep, dark secret they swore to keep. For $500: 66 percent would kiss a stranger. For $50: 75 percent would kiss a frog.

There are 1011 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers.

Have you ever gotten one of those fake checks in the mail as part of an advertisement? You know, the kind that say 'non-negotiable' on the front? So did Patrick Combs. And he decided to deposit it to see what would happen. The bank actually deposited the money to his account. It turns out that the advertising company had created a fake check that actually met all nine criteria for being a real check! And when you do that, writing the words 'non-negotiable' on the check don't mean squat. Here's the thing--Patrick never wanted to keep the money once it was credited to his account, he just wanted the bank to admit they had made a mistake. The bank wouldn't. They used long, loud sentences that prominently featured words like 'fraud' and 'criminal' and 'police.' Patrick stood his ground. Ultimately, the bank gave him the letter he wanted. And he gave them the money back, plus $65 to repay the interest he earned while it was in his account. (for myself, this happened in '96--he returned the check the day the OJ verdict came out)

In 1815 Napoleon was defeated in the battle of Waterloo, and the hero of that battle was the Duke of Wellington. The duke's most recent biographer claims to have an advantage over all the other previous biographers. His advantage was that he had found an old account ledger that showed how the duke had spent his money: that, says the biographer, was a far better clue to what the duke thought was really important than reading his letters or his speeches. Can you imagine that? If someone wrote your biography on the basis of your checkbook or your income-tax return, what might it say about you, your loyalties, your focus, and about whom you serve?

A young second lieutenant at Fort Bragg discovered that he had no change when he was about to buy a soft drink from a vending machine. He flagged down a passing private and asked him, "Do you have change for a dollar?" The private said cheerfully, "I think so, let me take a look." The lieutenant drew himself up stiffly and said, "Soldier, that is no way to address an officer. We'll start all over again. Do you have change for a dollar?" The private came to attention, saluted smartly, and said, "No, sir!"

If Jesus spoke about money four times as often as he spoke about faith or prayer, why do Christian bookstores carry four times as many books on faith or prayer as they do on money?

Known for their luxury watches, Swiss watchmaker Patek Philippe has also become well-known for its clever advertising slogan: "You never actually own a Patek Philippe; you merely take care of it for the next generation." So it is with what we "own": money, gifts, ministries, time, and our very live.

hey, many have reciprocated my last informative note. kinda want details... thusly, will give a truncated version that will suffice. 6 yrs ago we (linda and moi) built our house (of houses). many of yall ( or you guys) have been guests, yes? so...you are "in the know". well, about 3 months ago.... a confidant of ours visited us apres' church on a sunday. stayed the afternoon- conversing about everything under the sun (and above it). he stated -when praying for linda- he saw linda as a 25 yr old girl on an island in the S. Pacific.... God wanted her to recapture that time of incredible faith... when she scoured the world as a single girl. he told us- God wanted us out of "our" house... in order to position us. well, "isaac" had been previously on the altar (to no avail). the next morning, linda started cleaning closets in faith. that night (monday) she prayed. as i retired, she asked for my assistance in prayer.... i inquired of God to speak to us supernaturally- as in a dream. that friday- linda called me. she wanted to buy a ticket to help the st. jude cause (cancer research in memphis). prizes are given- the grand prize is a house. it is a cumulative effort by contractors across the city. the drawing occurred sunday afternoon on local tv. linda won. the ratio: one to 11,000. $100 ticket. afterwards she informed me- the night we prayed she dreamt. God told her she would win a house. she did not know of any such house save the st. jude house. she did not know if the drawing had in fact taken place. "everyone in lafayette knows about the effort." so- she went by the house to see if the drawing was over. she had about 4 days left. she prayed over the house fully confident in what was revealed to her. also, she was a bit anxious. friday before sunday she purchased a ticket. she drove haley (our 12 yr. old) to the house and -again- prayed. sunday, after the drawing she told me of the dream!! wow, a trip, no? 5 days later i get a call. an african-american lady was on the line. she told me her name and where she attended church. she had been interceeding for the house during construction. she- during prayer- asked the Lord if He would give it to her. He replied the house was for a minister, his wife, and 2 kids. copesetic, man... we, as of now, have moved. our house sold exactly 7 weeks to the hour. ministry is now afforded. and feasible. linda and i, conjunctively, are serving and discipling kids via the ministry of master's commission. if you (and you do) know us- that is our... well, better put: that is jimmy and linda.

Michael Jordan will make over $300 000 a game : $10 000 a minute, assuming he averages about 30 minutes per game. Assuming $40 million in endorsements this year, he’ll be making $178100 a day (working or not)! Assuming he sleeps 7 hours a night, he makes $52 000 every night while visions of sugarplums dance in his head. If he goes to see a movie, it’ll cost him $7 , but he’ll make $18 550 while he’s there. If he decides to have a 5 minute egg, he’ll make $618 while boiling it. He makes $7 415 per hour more than the minimum wage (after the wage hike). He’ll make $3 710 while watching each episode of Friends. If he wanted to save up for a new Acura NSX ($90 000) it would take him a whole 12 hours. If someone were to hand him his salary and endorsement money, they would have to do it at the rate of $2 every second. He’d probably pay around $200 for a nice round of golf, but will be reimbursed $33 390 for that round. Assuming he puts the federal maximum of 15% of his income into his tax deferred account, he will hit the federal cap of $9 500 for such accounts at 8:30 a.m. on January 1st, 1998. If you were given a tenth of a penny for every dollar he made, you’d be living comfortably at $65 000 a year. He’ll make about $19.60 while watching the hundred meter dash in the Olympics. He’ll make about $15600 while the Boston Marathon is being run. While the common person is spending about $20 for a meal in his trendy Chicago restaurant, he’ll pull in about $5600. Next year he’ll make more than twice as much as all of our past presidents for all their terms combined. Amazing, isn’t it? BUT: Jordan will have to save 100% of his income for 270 years to have a net worth equivalent to that of Bill Gates today !

A breathless silence fell over the congregation. The church was jammed to the doors. The back balcony was crowded. A special offering had been taken and the total given was to be announced at the end of the service. The goal was $20,000. The ushers had finished counting it and brought a note with the total written on it to the pastor. Now was the climactic moment. “The total amount received was,” the pastor began, then his forehead clouded over as he hesitantly read, “$20,000 and three cents.” Pausing a moment, he said, “That’s a strange total. $20,000 and three cents. Three cents! There must be a Scotsman here.” From the balcony came a voice, “Hoots, mon, there are three of us here.” [my thought--turn this into a story about stingy ministers. It would work really well with Chi Alphans]

Milionaire hip-hop promoter Russell Simmons told me wealth didn't make him or his friends happy either. "If I know 15 billionaires, I know 13 unhappy people," he said. … Research suggests that [he is] right. A survey of 49 of the Forbes richest found that they weren't any happier than the rest of us.

'No one would remember the Good Samaritan if he'd only had good intentions - he had money, too," said former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher

In August, 2003, a study was released revealing that money can't buy happiness. Beginning in 1975, University of Southern California researcher Richard Easterlin surveyed 1500 persons annually and found: Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we'll be. We put all of our resources into making money at the expense of our family and our health…The problem is we don't realize that our material wants increase with the amount of money we make. The study discovered happiness was related to quality time with loved ones, good health, being friendly, having an optimistic outlook, exercising self-control, and possessing a deep sense of ethics.

Satan now is wiser than of yore. And tempts by making rich, not by making poor. --

He that serves God for money will serve the Devil for better wages.

When I get a little money, I buy books and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.

I never talk to brokers or analysts… Wall Street is the only place the people ride to in a Rolls Royce to get advice from those who take the subway.

Money-giving is a very good criterion of a person’s mental health. Generous people are rarely mentally ill people.

Lack of money is the root of all evil. – George Bernard Shaw, Man and Superman, 1902

Our lives have become a hell not because money is too important to us, but because it is not important enough. -- Jacob Needleman

We have more will than wallet, but will is what we need. – Geo. Bush, 1989

Fortune does not change men; it unmasks them. – Suzanne Necker, 1739-1794

There are three conversions necessary: the conversion of the heart, mind and the purse.

If you wish to leave much wealth to your children, leave them in God’s care. Do not leave them riches, but virtue and skill. For if they learn to expect riches, they will not mind anything besides, and their abundant riches shall give them the means of screening the wickedness of their ways. -- John Chrysostom

Once a year, Charles H. Spurgeon preached "for his orphans." At that event, an offering would be received for his orphanage. After one of these meetings a person accosted him with the charge, "Why, Mr. Spurgeon, I thought you preached for souls and not for money!" Spurgeon replied, "Normally I do preach for souls and not for money. But my orphans can't eat souls and if they did, my brother, it would take at least four the size of yours to give one of them a square meal!"

Almost all reformers, however strict their social conscience, live in houses as big as they can pay for.

1. Wealth without work 2. Pleasure without conscience 3. Knowledge without character 4. Commerce without morality 5. Science without humanity 6. Worship without sacrifice 7. Politics without principle

Money may be the husk of many things, but not the kernel. It brings you food, but not appetite; Medicine, but not health; Acquaintances, but not friends; Servants, but not loyalty; Days of joy, but not peace or happiness.

In medieval Europe the government learned they were out of silver and could not make any more coins. An order was given to search the land for silver. The only silver to be found was in cathedrals as statutes of saints. The order was given - 'take them, melt them down and put the saints back into circulation.'

Regarding tentmaking: Take for example the way in which Sozome speaks of Zeno, who was the bishop of Majuma (that is Gaza) at the end of the fourth century. Sozomen says that Zeno, ‘by pursuing his trade of weaving linen, continued to earn the means of supplying his own want and of providing for others. He never deviated from this conduct till the close of his life, although he exceeded all other priests of that province in age and although he presided over the people and property of the largest church.’ By: Paul Stevens Source: Liberating the Laity, InterVarsity Press, 1985, quoting Roland Allen

"We are trying to make a big, beautiful impression upon the affluent non-religious American who is riding by on this busy freeway...But suppose we had given this money to feed the poor? What would we have today? We would still have hungry, poor people and God would not have this tremendous base of operations which He is using to inspire people to become more successful, more affluent, more generous, more genuinely unselfish in their giving of themselves."

Dallas Willard observes, “being poor is one of the poorest ways to help the poor.”

My grandfather always said, "Don't watch your money; watch your health." So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash. Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.

As Californian Collis Huntington reportedly wrote in 1877, explaining why he was in Washington D.C. pouring bribe money out like water: <blockquote>If you have to pay money [to a politician] to have the right thing done, is is only just and fair to do it.... If a [politician] has the power to do great evil and won't do right unless he is bribed to do it, I think... it is a man's duty to go up and bribe (see Josephson, 1934) ...</blockquote> http://econ161.berkeley.edu/Econ_Articles/carnegie/DeLong_Moscow_paper2.html

The average college student spends $208 on pizza, Starbucks, music, toothpaste, laundry and other discretionary items each month. Most of that money comes from home where nearly 2/3 of students receive money for spending (at an average of just over $300 a month). A survey by the Student Monitor indicates college students spend roughly $15 billion on their personal and social lives annually. When it comes to spending money, 69% of students say they ate out in the previous week, 47% shopped at a grocery store, 38% went to the movies and only 19% bought a cd. In addition to their weekly expenses, many own a variety of gadgets including cell phones (90%); DVD players (76%); TV's (73%); and iPods (37%). Just over half of all students work part time during the school year.