These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
The Montana State Department of Fish and Wildlife is advising
hikers, hunters, fishermen, rescue dog handlers, and golfers to take
extra precautions and be on the alert for bears while in the
Gallatin, Helena, and Lewis and Clark National Forests.
They advise people to wear noise-producing devices such as
little bells on their clothing to alert, but not startle the bears
unexpectedly. They also advise you to carry pepper spray in case of
an encounter with a bear. It is also a good idea to watch for signs
of bear activity. People should be able to recognize the difference
between black bear and grizzly bear droppings.
Black bear droppings are smaller and contain berries and possibly squirrel
fur.
Grizzly bear droppings have bells in them and smell like pepper spray.
More medical humor
THE NEW ABRIDGED MEDICAL DICTIONARY
(Source: Edmonton Journal, Friday Aug 4, 1995)
BARIUM: What doctors do when patients die.
COLIC: A sheep dog.
D&C: Where Bill Clinton lives.
DILATE: To live longer.
FESTER: Quicker.
HANGNAIL: Coat hook.
IMPOTENT: Distinguished, well known.
LABOR PAIN: Get hurt at work.
MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane.
MORBID: A higher offer.
NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates.
NODE: Was aware of.
OUTPATIENT: A patient who fainted.
PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test.
PELVIS: Cousin to Elvis.
RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery.
RECTUM: Dang near killed 'em.
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the airport.
TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at your computer.
TUMOR: More than one.
URINE: Opposite of "You're out".
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man's nose begins.
Human waste has bedeviled NASA engineers from the get-go. Alan Shepherd's first 15-minute suborbital flight was so short that no one thought to install a urine receptacle in his space suit. At T-minus 15 minutes, an electrical problem caused an 86-minute delay on the launchpad. Shepherd's bladder soon reached the bursting point, and he radioed the first-ever "Houston, we have a problem" message. After some deliberation, mission control had an answer: "Do it in the suit."
"I never make the mistake of arguing with people for whose opinions I have no respect."
id: 2900 | source: Edward Gibbon (1737-1794) | tags: Arguments, Forbearance