These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
A rabbi asked G-d about heaven and hell. "I will show you hell," G-d said, and he took the rabbi into a room with a large pot of stew in the middle. The smell was delicious, but around the pot sat people who were famished and desperate. All were holding spoons with very long handles which reached to the pot, but, because the handles were longer than their arms, it was impossible to get the stew back into their mouths. "Now I will show you heaven," G-d said, and they went into an identical room with an identical pot of stew and people with identical spoons, but they were all well-nourished and happy. "It's simple," G-d said. "They like to feed one another."
id: 705 | source: Anonymous | tags: Heaven, Hell, Selfishness
There was a middle aged guy who bought a Mercedes convertible 2000. He took off down the road, floored it up to 80 mph and enjoyed the wind blowing through what little hair he had left on his head. "This is great," he thought and floored it some more. He looked in his rearview mirror and there was a Florida Highway Patrol Trooper behind him with his blue lights flashing and siren blasting. "I can get away from him with no problem," thought the man and flew down the road at over 100 mph. Then he thought, "What am I doing? I'm too old for this kind of thing" and pulled over to the side of the road to wait for the State Trooper to catch up with him. The Trooper pulled in behind the Mercedes and walked up to the man. "Sir," he said, looking at his watch. "My shift ends in 30 minutes and today is Friday." "If you can give me a reason why you were speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go". The man looked back at the Trooper and said, "Last week my wife ran off with a State Trooper and I thought you were bringing her back!! The State Trooper said, "Have a nice day!"
I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.
The question “What shall we do about it?†is only asked by those who do not understand the problem. If a problem can be solved at all, to understand it and to know what to do about it are the same thing. On the other hand, doing something about a problem which you do not understand is like trying to clear away darkness by thrusting it aside with your hands. When light is brought, the darkness vanishes at once.
Advertising is a tax you pay for being unremarkable.
id: 3174 | source: Robert Stephens | tags: Advertising