Glen's Quotes Db (3175 total)

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.

There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither
apple
nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or
French
fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't
sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its
paradoxes, we
find that quicksand can work slowly, some freeways charge a toll,
boxing
rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a
pig.
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing,
grocers
don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why
isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2
meese?
One index, 2 indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one
amend, that you comb through the annals of history but not a single
annal?
If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of
them,
what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a
vegetarian
eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter,
perhaps you bote your tongue?
In what language do people recite at a play and play at a
recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and
feet
that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a
wise
man and wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be
opposites,
while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot
as
hell one day and cold as hell another.

The woods would be very silent if no birds sang there except those who sang best."

Emulation is like envy. It grows in the same soil yet produces an entirely different flower. If envy is like a poisonous mushroom, emulation is like a succulent orange. One bears death and one brings life.