These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
The Washington Post recently published a contest for readers in which they
were asked to supply alternative meanings for various words.
The following were some of the winning entries:
Abdicate (v.), to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
Carcinoma (n.), a valley in California, notable for its heavy smog.
Esplanade (v.), to attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly (adj.), impotent
Flabbergasted (adj.), appalled over how much weight you have gained.
Negligent (adj.), describes a condition in which you absentmindedly
answer the door in your nightie.
Lymph (v.), to walk with a lisp.
Coffee (n.), a person who is coughed upon.
Balderdash (n.), a rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle (n.), a humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude (n.), the formal, dignified demeanor assumed by a
proctologist immediately before he examines you.
Oyster (n.), a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddish
expressions.
Circumvent (n.), the opening in the front of boxer shorts.
Frisbatarianism (n.), The belief that, when you die, your soul goes up
on the roof and gets stuck there.
What We Do For People: mnemonic for
Worship
Witness
Discipleship
Fellowship
Prayer
Also (this is ET's) 3 ships and a praying witness
When I get a little money, I buy books and if any is left, I buy food and clothes.
Children enter school as question marks and leave as periods.
Government at all levels can be competent, economical and efficient. Yet I would hasten to point out that nowhere in the Constitution of the United States, or the Declaration of Independence, or the Bill of Rights, or the Emancipation Proclamation, or in the Old Testament or the New Testament do you find the words economy’ or efficient’. Not that these two words are unimportant. But you discover words like honesty, integrity, fairness, liberty, justice, courage, patriotism, compassion and love - and many others which describe what a human being ought to be. These are also the same words which describe what a government of human beings ought to be.
By: Jimmy Carter
Source: Why Not The Best?, 1975 page 116