These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
What passes for optimism is most often the effect of intellectual error.
Lactomangulation, n.: Manhandling the "open here" spout on a milk carton so badly that one has to resort to using the "illegal" side. Aquadextrous, adj.: Possessing the ability to turn the bathtub faucet on and off with your toes.
id: 219 | source: Rich Hall, "Sniglets" | tags: Communication
When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?
Why do they put Braille on the number pads of drive through bank machines?
If nothing sticks to Teflon how do they get it to stick to the pan?
If it's tourist season why can't we shoot them?
Why do they sterilize the needles for all lethal injections?
What do they use to ship Styrofoam?
Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?
How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
We trained hard, but it seemed that every time we were beginning
to form up into teams we would be reorganized. I was to learn
later in life that we tend to meet any new situation in life by re-
organizing. A wonderful method it can be for creating the illusion
of progress while producing confusion, inefficiency and demoralization.
id: 818 | source: Petronius Arbiter, 1st Century A. D. | tags: Leadership, Organization, Progress
A tale is told about a small town that had historically been "dry," but then
a local businessman decided to build a tavern. A group of Christians from a
local church were concerned and planned an all-night prayer meeting to ask
God to intervene. It just so happened that shortly thereafter lightning
struck the bar and it burned to the ground. The owner of the bar sued the
church, claiming that the prayers of the congregation were responsible, but
the church hired a lawyer to argue in court that they were not responsible.
The presiding judge, after his initial review of the case, stated that "no
matter how this case comes out, one thing is clear. The tavern owner
believes in prayer and the Christians do not."