Glen's Quotes Db (3171 total)

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."

"The good Lord set definite limits on man's wisdom, but set no limits on his stupidity and that's just not fair!"

The blind date After being with her all evening, the man couldn't stand another minute with his blind date. Earlier, he had secretly arranged to have a friend call him on the phone so he would have an excuse to leave if something like this happened. When he returned to the table, he lowered his eyes, put on a grim expression and said, "I have some bad news. My grandfather has just died." "Thank God," his date said. "If yours hadn't, mine would've had to."

An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?"

When the learned skeptic says, 'The visions of the Old Testament were local, and rustic, and grotesque,' we shall answer: 'Of course. They were genuine.' By: G.K. Chesterton Source: Ward, pg. 175-6, Wisdom and Innocence by Joseph Pearce, Ignatius Press, 1996