Tag: Denominations (home)

A Baptist preacher and his wife decided to get a new dog. Ever mindful of the congregation, they knew the dog must also be a Baptist. They visited kennel after kennel and explained their needs. Finally, they found a kennel whose owner assured them he had just the dog they wanted. The owner brought the dog to meet the pastor and his wife. "Fetch the Bible," he commanded. The dog bounded to the bookshelf, scrutinized the books, located the Bible, and brought it to the owner. "Now find Psalm 23," he commanded. The dog dropped the Bible to the floor, and showing marvelous dexterity with his paws, leafed through and finding the correct passage, pointed to it with his paw. The pastor and his wife were very impressed and purchased the dog. That evening, a group of church members came to visit. The pastor and his wife began to show off the dog, having him locate several Bible verses. The visitors were very impressed. One man asked, "Can he do regular dog tricks, too?" "I haven't tried yet," the pastor replied. He pointed his finger at the dog. "HEEL!" the pastor commanded. The dog immediately jumped on a chair, placed one paw on the pastor's forehead and began to howl. The pastor looked at his wife in shock and said, "Good Lord! He's Pentecostal!"

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Church, Spiritual Gifts, Denominations

The church also communicates ungrace through its lack of unity. Mark Twain used to say that he put a cat and a dog in a cage together as an experiment, to see if they could get along. They did, so he put in a bird, pig and goat. They, too, got along fine after a few adjustments. Then he put a Baptist, Presbyterian, and Catholic; soon there was not a living thing. – What’s So Amazing About Grace, p. 33

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Church, Conflict, Religion, Denominations

We have just enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love, one another. -- Jonathan Swift

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Love, Hate, Religion, Denominations

Bible Christians routinely claim that the Bible is infallible because the biblical authors–Peter and Paul, John and Matthew, etc–were given the gift of infallibility. They insist that the Bible alone is our authority because the Bible is infallible. But is it clear that once God gives the Church infallible scripture, there will be no need for infallible interpretations of scripture? <em>in fact</em> History shows, in the most unambiguous manner, that an infallible Bible is not sufficient to hold the Church together. Luther's naive view that a text simply means what it says and all the rest is mischief can no longer be held by thinking people. All texts require interpretation because words require interpretation, and the words of scripture more than most. Without an infallible interpretation of scripture an infallible Bible is pointless and ineffectual. <em>consequently</em> The old phrase `What does the Bible say?' is futile. Strictly speaking, the Bible doesn't say anything. You can't put a book in the witness-box and ask it what it really means. The Bible, by itself, cannot be the basis of agreement among Christians when it is so obviously a cause of disagreement.

permalink source: http://www.basicincome.com/andyetsonew/cathquotes.htm
tags: Inspiration Of Scripture, Denominations

I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. So I ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Well... are you religious?" He said yes. I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant ? "Protestant." "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist" "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off.

permalink source: Emo Philips
tags: Tolerance, Denominations

To Dr. James Culross, president of the Union, Spurgeon wrote, I have followed out our Lord's mind as to private remonstrances by seeing Presidents and Secretary on former occasions, and I have written my remonstrances again and again without avail. I had no course but to withdraw. Surely, no sane person thinks that I should have made a tour to deal with the individual errorists. I have no jurisdiction over them, and should have been regarded as offensively intrusive if I had gone to them; and justly so. My question is with the Union, and with that alone. I have dealt with it all along. <i>my thoughts: Spurgeon was defending his resignation from the Baptist Union very well against a charge which arises too often today--an attempt to distract from the real issue by a spurious appeal to Matthew 18. He had talked with the leaders with whom he was in relationship and was under no obligation to go to those he had a theological complaint against (nor was it reasonable for him to do so).</i>

permalink source: Charles Spurgeon
tags: Conflict, Denominations

A little Methodist boy and a little Catholic girl walked the same way home from church, and often walked together. One Sunday, there had been a great rain, and the creek they normally crossed by stepping on stones was greatly swollen. “My mom will kill me if I get my clothes dirty,” said the Catholic girl. “Mine too,” said the little Wesleyan. So they decided to take off all their clothes and hold them over their heads as they crossed. When they reached the other side and were preparing to dress, the little boy said, “You know, I never realized there was so much difference between Catholics and Protestants…”

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Gender Issues, Denominations

Theological Mission Drift

"The mainstream churches are losing members and often seem devoted to causes more worthy than holy." - Found via First Things blog - David Lebedoff’s The Same Man: George Orwell and Evelyn Waugh in Love and War:

permalink source: First Things blog: http://www.firstthings.com/blog/2008/08/26/mainline-decline-in-a-sentence/
tags: Denominations

Implications Of Errant Notions of Justification

[W]e must remind ourselves that the Catholic righteousness by good works is vastly preferable to a protestant righteousness by good doctrine. At least righteousness by good works benefits one’s neighbor, whereas righteousness by good doctrine only produces lovelessness and pride. Furthermore, we must not blind ourselves to the tremendous faith, genuine repentence, complete surrender and the fervent love for God and neighbor evident in the lives and work of many Catholic Christians. The Christian life is so rich that it develops its full glory not just in a single form or within the walls of one church. [found at Mouw's blog - http://www.netbloghost.com/mouw/?p=118]

permalink source: Herman Bavinck, The Certainty of Faith
tags: Righteousness, Denominations, Justification