Tag: Emotions (home)

When you pray, don't let your feelings master you. Your feelings have been conditioned to respond to the wrong stimuli.

permalink source: Joe Zickafoose
tags: Prayer, Emotions

People don't ask for facts in making up their minds. They would rather have one good, soul-satisfying emotion than a dozen facts.

permalink source: Robert Keith Leavitt
tags: Persuasion, Emotions

I have found (to my regret) that the degrees of shame and disgust which I actually feel at my own sins do not at all correspond to what my reason tells me about their comparative gravity. Just as the degree to which, in daily life, I feel the emotion of fear has little to do with my rational judgement of the danger. I'd sooner have really nasty seas when I'm in an open boat than look down in perfect (actual) safety from the edge of a cliff. Similarly, I have confessed ghastly uncharities with less relucatance than small unmentionables--or those sins which happen to be ungentlemanly as well as unchristian. Our emotional reactions to our own behavior are of limited ethical significance.

permalink source: C. S. Lewis, Letters to Malcolm
tags: Depravity, Guilt, Sin, Emotions, Shame

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.

permalink source: Eleanor Roosevelt
tags: Choices, Emotions, Self-image

Failures take on a life of their own because the brain remembers incomplete tasks or failures longer than any success or completed activity. It's technically referred to as the "Zeigarnik effect." When a project or a thought is completed, the brain places it in a special memory. The brain no longer gives the project priority or active working status, and bits and pieces of the achieved situation begin to decay. But failures have no closure. The brain continues to spin the memory, trying to come up with ways to fix the mess and move it from active to inactive status. Perry Buffington, licensed psychologist, author, columnist; "Forgive or Forget," Universal Press Syndicate 8/29/99

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Failure, Fear, Emotions

"Men are apt to mistake the strength of their feeling for the strength of their argument. The heated mind resents the chill touch and relentless scrutiny of logic."

permalink source: William E. Gladstone, English statesman and author
tags: Logic, Persuasion, Emotions, Arguments

A LEADER'S EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE ''Without it (emotional intelligence) a person can have the best training in the world, an incisive analytical mind and an endless supply of smart ideas but he still won't make a great leader." - Daniel Goleman (Harvard Business Review, Nov-Dec 1998) What is the "must have" characteristic of highly effective leaders? That is a question that would stir quite a bit of debate in most leadership circles. One idea that I would not expect to hear is that of emotional intelligence. At lower levels of leadership the issues of ability, intelligence, training and experience play a major role in distinguishing good leaders from very good leaders. But the higher you move up the leadership ladder, the less these threshold components - ability, intelligence, train- ing, experience - matter in terms of separating the good from the great. Think of professional athletes for example. When they play- ed at the high school level, many pro athletes were head and shoulders above everyone else in their league, let alone their team. But when they got to college, the difference between them and other players was somewhat diminished. By the time they get to the pros, the difference is even less noticeable. The same is true for leaders. At the highest levels of leader- ship, the distinguishing factor, which separates good leaders from great leaders, is not primarily their training or IQ but - according to Daniel Goleman - their emotional intelli- gence. Evaluating Emotional Intelligence Goleman studied research on the competency models of 188 different companies ranging from Lucent Technologies to British Airways. The research evaluated the competency of leaders based on cognitive skills (analytical thinking, big picture perspective), technical skills (accounting, systems) and emotional intelligence (working with others, managing change). It was through this study that he con- cluded emotional intelligence is twice as important as other factors and its relevance increased proportionately with movement up the leadership ladder. Those in the study with higher levels of emotional intelligence out produced others both inside and outside the United States. (In other words, they believe this research is not culture-bound.) Five Components of Emotional Intelligence Goleman suggests there are five basic components of Emotional Intelligence as follows: 1. Self-Awareness - Leaders with emotional intelligence know who they are, where they are going and why. They have a deep understanding of their emotions, strengths, weakness- es, needs and drives. They are honest with themselves. They make decisions that are consistent with their values. They set goals - short-term and long - that flow from who they are and where they want to go. They operate with candor and are willing to admit failure. They receive constructive criticism and willingly ask for help. Implications for Christian leaders: Leaders with emotional intelligence are making progress in destiny processing. They are refining an explicit philosophy of leadership (ministry), which empowers their decision-making. They have a learning posture, which fuels a teachable spirit. Want to be a great leader? How are you doing in the area of destiny processing? Refining your ministry philosophy? Personal growth? 2. Self-Regulation - Leaders with emotional intelligence are in control of their feelings and impulses. They have mastered their emotions to the extent that they are able to deal with the unpredictable or even disastrous circumstances of life on an even keel. They radiate an environment of trust, safety and loyalty. Their followers are not afraid to be the one to bring bad news. They are thoughtful and reflective enough to navigate the moguls of life in proper balance. Implications for Christian leaders: Leaders who want to be effective at the highest levels of Christian leadership are passionate about allowing the fruits of the Holy Spirit - in- cluding patience and self-control - to be seen in their daily activities. Want to be a great leader? How would your followers (including your family) rate you when it comes to self-control? How about patience? 3. Motivation - Leaders with emotional intelligence have an inner drive to go beyond the minimum expectations of others. They have a desire to improve, to do things better. They want to keep score so as to be able to measure growth or improvement. They have a buy in to the organization, which expresses itself in loyalty to the cause. Implications for Christian leaders: Christian leaders need a passion that expresses itself in a sense of responsibility. Passion can cover a multitude of sins when it comes to the lack of ability or training. I have seen very average communicators take the house down purely based on the fact they were passionate about what they said and communicated a sense of personal responsibility for the cause. Want to be a great leader? When was the last time you cried over the cause? Is your passion meter stuck on "whatever"? 4. Empathy - Leaders with emotional intelligence thoughtfully consider the feelings of followers in the process of making decisions. They are not governed by this empathy so as to keep them from making the tough call. But they recognize they are dealing with people and that actions have consequences. They go beyond trite statements like, "Deal with it" or "Get over it" when helping followers process change. This kind of empathy is critical in an environment where teams bring with them complex relationships and globalization requires cross-cultural communi- cation. Effective mentoring and coaching on the job grows out of the strength of relationship, which is enhanced by empathetic interaction. Implications for Christian leaders: What Goleman describes as empathy could easily be viewed as servant leadership. Effective Christian leaders realize the most preferred power base is spi- ritual authority, which flows from strength of character and servant attitudes. Want to be a great leader? Try living the golden rule. What is your default power base setting? 5. Social Skills - Leaders with emotional intelligence are purposefully friendly. They are not necessarily sanguine in their personality type. But they are intentional about culti- vating interpersonal communication skills. They have an "others" focus that makes it easy to carry on a conversation. They readily seek common ground and ask sincere questions. Social skills in this context are really a combination of other aspects of emotional intelligence. These skills emerge as the components of emotional intelligence are put to work synergistic- ally in real life. Implications for Christian Leaders: The social skills Goleman describes have a common root in listening. Being a good listener is not always at the top of the priority list of high-energy leaders. Many times as leaders we are busy forming our rebuttal statement after the first three words have been spoken to us. Want to be a great leader? Cultivate good listening habits. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Final Comments Let me take you back to the opening thoughts in this article. What is the "must have" characteristic of highly effective leaders? If you were in a room with all the other Leadership Minute subscribers and that question was asked, I predict none of us would have ans- wered emotional intelligence. And as a result, few of the practical application comments flowing from this article would have been on our short list of action steps. Review them for a minute. Should they be? 1. Want to be a great leader? How are you doing in the area of destiny processing? Refining your ministry philosophy? Personal Growth? 2. Want to be a great leader? How would your followers (including your family) rate you when it comes to self-control? How about patience? 3. Want to be a great leader? When was the last time you cried over the cause? Is your passion meter stuck on "whatever"? 4. Want to be a great leader? Try living the golden rule. What is your default power base setting? 5. Want to be a great leader? Cultivate good listening habits. Be quick to listen and slow to speak. Assessment and Action 1. Do you agree with Daniel Goleman's assertion that emotional intelligence is the most important distinguishing factor between high-level leaders? 2. Can you think of a high-level leader who is/was very success- ful but did not have emotional intelligence? If yes, who? Did they succeed because of this lack of emotional intelligence or in spite of it? 3. What component of emotional intelligence is least valued by traditional leadership paradigms? 4. Rate yourself on a scale of 1-20 in each component of emo- tional intelligence. Then total your score for each area - a perfect score would total 100. 5. Based on your answer to #4, which component of emotional intelligence do you most need to develop? Steve Moore - Global Leadership Consultant, Top Flight Leadership

permalink source: Steve Moore in Leadership Minute from Top Flight Leadership
tags: Leadership, Emotions, Self-awareness

It is important to realize that the fundamental approach of the moralists is not that we ought to <i>suppress</i> anger but rather <i>dissipate</i> is by employing the various cognitive, affective, and behavioral strategies that we have described. Forgiveness, compassion, the recognition of human frailty, the cultivation of emotions incompatible with anger such as love or humility, and avoidance of provocation are all meant to preserve us from becoming angry or enable us to substitute some neutral, benevolent emotion.

permalink source: Solomon Schimmel, The Seven Deadly Sins, 109-110
tags: Forgiveness, Anger, Emotions

I agree with those who define a human emotion as an interpretation of a change in bodily feeling. A change in brain state, without any interpretation, either because it was not detected or because it was ignored, should be given a different name. There is no agreement on what to call these unrecognized brain states. But we should distinguish between a man who detected a rise in heart rate and muscle tightness as he entered a room full of strangers and thought, "I am anxious," and a woman who failed to detect the same reactions, even though her behavior might have been affected by the altered bodily state.

permalink source: Jerome Kagan, An Argument for Mind, 207
tags: Emotions, Neuroscience