Tag: Sports (home)

Monday, n.: In Christian countries, the day after the baseball game.

permalink source: Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"
tags: Church, Sports

"I love boxing. Where else do two grown men prance around in satin underwear, fighting over a belt?... The one who wins gets a purse. They do it in gloves. It's the accessory connection I love."

permalink source: John McGovern
tags: Humor, Sports

The Scots invented golf, which might explain why they invented Scotch.

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Humor, Sports, Golf

My Missouri golf buddy John Ohlin has sent me a few other caddie scenarios: Golfer - "I've played so poorly today I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddie: "I don't think you could keep your head down that long." Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddie in the world!" Caddie: "I doubt it - that would be too much of a coincidence." A preacher golfer: "Caddie, do you think it's a sin to play golf on Sunday?" Caddie, "Reverend, the way you play, it's a sin any day of the week." And the golfer who thought more highly of his distance shots than he should have: "Caddie, do you think I can reach the green with a five iron?" Caddie: "Eventually."

permalink source: Dan Betzer
tags: Insults, Sports, Golf

A sports writer was invited for dinner at the residence of golfing legend Arnold Palmer. He arrived a bit early and Mrs. Palmer met him, invited him in, and said her husband would be down in a moment. The writer asked if, while he was waiting, he could see Palmer's trophy room. She replied, "Oh, we don't have such a room." That night, the writer asked the golf pro why he didn't have all his trophies on display--over 90 tour victories, a number of them major tournaments. Palmer looked the columnist right in the eye and replied, "For what? That's yesterday's news!" Then he explained: "I have enjoyed every victory and cherished the memories. I have celebrated those tournaments. But come Monday morning of the next week, I'm no different from the man who missed the cut last week. In fact, he is probably more hungry for a victory than I. So if I am to be competitively ready, I must get my thoughts off yesterday and deal with today. There will be a day when I can take the time to look back. But as long as I want to stay competitive, I must never stop and marvel at what I have accomplished, only look forward to my next challenge at hand."

permalink source: Dan Betzer
tags: Success, Humility, Sports, Golf

Jimmy Valvano was a New Yorker who went south and found success as basketball coach of North Carolina State University, which he led to a national championship. In one game, after his team blew the lead and lost to arch-rival North Carolina, Valvano insisted that a fan wrote to tell him, "If you ever do that again, I'll come over and shoot your dog." Valvano wrote him back to explain he didn't have a dog. The man responded: "I'm sending you a dog. But don't get too attached to him." (The American Enterprise, June 2002, p. 42) If only we had as much passion for our faith as we do for sports!

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Worship, Passion, Sports

Norm Evans, all-pro tackle for the Miami Dolphins for several years, once confided, "It's really dangerous for a pro football player to get angry. In fact, that's when linemen sustain their most serious injuries." He explained, "Anger is so harmful in football that if I can get an opposing lineman or end angry at me, he will concentrate on beating me and forget to attack the quarterback—and that's my job, protecting the quarterback." Mike Fuller, fleet-footed safety and punt-return specialist for the San Diego Chargers in the late 1970s, agreed. "The wide receivers are continually trying to make us angry each time they come into our area, because they know if they can upset us emotionally, they can fool us on the next play." Bob Hutchins, former judo champion for Southern California and now a missionary in Mexico, stated, "I was just an above-average judo performer until I learned how to make my opponent angry. Then I won the championship." Like these athletes' opponents, millions of men fall into the trap of thinking you're not a man unless you get angry. However, an angry person makes poor decisions, wounds those he loves with his tongue, overreacts, disciplines too severely, and does things that calmness of thought would not otherwise permit.

permalink source: Adapted from Tim LaHaye and Bob Phillips, Anger Is a Choice (Zondervan, 2002), pp. 19-20
tags: Anger, Goals, Sports

Football combines two of the worst things about American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings. -- George Will

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Sports, America

Football is a game of errors. The team with the fewest errors in a game usually wins." -- Paul Brown

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Mistake, Sports

St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball. Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys. "Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches." "I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."

permalink source: Anonymous
tags: Heaven, Hell, Sports

There’s always one of my uncles who watches a boxing match with me and says "Sure. Ten million dollars. You know, for that kind of money, I’d fight him." As if someone is going to pay $200 a ticket to see a 57-year-old carpet salesman get hit in the face once and cry.

permalink source: Larry Miller
tags: Greed, Sports

* Humbly receive correction from your coach and ask your coach how you can grow in character as well as athletic skill. * Thank your coaches for the way they have served you. And thank the referees after each game. * Encourage your teammates for their display of godly character and athletic skill--in that order of priority. * Encourage your opponents during and after the game. If you knock someone over, extend your hand to help them up. * Play the game passionately and unselfishly. Serve your team by playing aggressive defense [his father never did this] and passing the ball on offense [again, his father never did this]. * Humbly respond when the referee calls a foul on you. Do not complain or disagree in word or by facial expression [his father never did this]. * No inappropriate celebrating after you score; instead, recognize that others played a role [his father never did this]. * Thank the team manager for the way he served and recognize the humility and servanthood he is displaying each game. True greatness is sitting on the end of the bench.

permalink source: C. J. Mahaney, advice to his son before every game
tags: Competition, Sports