This planet has -- or rather had -- a problem, which was this: most of the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy.

Happiness is having a scratch for every itch.

We desire truth and find in ourselves nothing but uncertainty. We seek happiness and find only wretchedness and death. We are incapable of not desiring truth and happiness and incapable of certainty or happiness.

If ignorance is bliss, why aren't there more happy people?

Trying to be happy is like trying to build a machine for which the only specification is that it should run noiselessly.

"Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations." -- Edward De Bono, Maltese physician, educator

"There is only one way to achieve happiness on this terrestrial ball, and that is to have either a clear conscience or none at all."

"The secret of joy in work is contained in one word: excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it."

I have an elderly acquaintance of about eighty, who has lived a life of unbroken selfishness and self-admiration from the earliest years, and is, more or less, I regret to say, one of the happiest men I know. From the moral point of view it is very difficult!...As you perhaps know, I haven't always been a Christian. I didn't go to religion to make me happy. I always knew a bottle of Port would do that. If you want a religion to make you feel really comfortable, I certainly don't recommend Christianity.

THREE THINGS YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY IN LIFE A set of values you don't violate A marriage that you enjoy OR come to grips with your sexuality as a single A job that you like

I think the bottom-line difference between being single and being married is this: When you're single you're as happy as you are. When you're married, you can only be as happy as the least happy person in the apartment.

"On Prozac, Sisyphus might well push the boulder back up the mountain with more enthusiasm and more creativity. I do not want to deny the benefits of psychoactive medication. I just want to point out that Sisyphus is not a patient with a mental health problem. To see him as a patient with a mental health problem is to ignore certain larger aspects of his predicament connected to boulders, mountains, and eternity. " - Carl Elliot, The Pursuit of Happiness, Atlantic Online 8/5/2003

Question: Where can happiness always be found? Answer: In the dictionary.

Dear Cecil: I've heard from all sorts of places that it takes 43 muscles to frown and only 17 to smile (the numbers vary), but I can tell you from experience that spending half an hour grinning is a lot more tiring than half an hour of not smiling, which is pretty much the same as frowning. Is the whole idea bogus? --Ella, via the Internet Cecil replies: I've been hearing this for years. Supposedly it takes fewer muscles to smile than to frown; ergo, you should smile. Happiness, it seems, is the lazy person's emotion. Time to put this platitude to rest. I arrived at the following detailed accounting of the relevant muscles with the aid of David H. Song, MD, FACS, plastic surgeon and assistant professor at the University of Chicago Hospitals. Song, among other things, reconstructs faces--in short, he ought to know. My apologies if this list seems obsessive, but we're going to settle this once and for all. Caveat: Deciding which of the 53 facial muscles are important in smiling or frowning is a bit arbitrary--many make only minor contributions, and depending on the intensity of the expression may not be involved at all. I've listed here the ones Song feels are important, as corroborated by other sources. Muscles involved in a "zygomatic" (i.e., genuine) smile: Zygomaticus major and minor. These muscles pull up the corners of the mouth. They're bilateral (one set on either side of the face). Total number of muscles: 4. Orbicularis oculi. One of these muscles encircles each eye and causes crinkling. Total: 2. Levator labii superioris. Pulls up corner of lip and nose. Bilateral. Total: 2. Levator anguli oris. Also helps elevate angle of mouth. Bilateral. Total: 2. Risorius. Pulls corner of mouth to the side. Bilateral. Total: 2. Grand total for smiling: 12. Principal muscles involved in a frown: Orbicularis oculi (again). Total: 2. Platysma. Pulls down lips and wrinkles skin of lower face. Bilateral (though joined at midline). Total: 2. Corrugator supercilii (bilateral) and procerus (unilateral). Furrow brow. Total: 3. Orbicularis oris. Encircles mouth; purses lips. Unilateral. Total: 1. Mentalis. Depresses lower lip. Unilateral. Total: 1. Depressor anguli oris. Pulls corner of mouth down. Bilateral. Total: 2. Grand total for frowning: 11. Despite the fact that smiling uses more muscles, Song believes it takes less effort than frowning--people tend to smile more frequently, so the relevant muscles are in better shape. You may feel this conclusion assumes a rosier view of the human condition than the facts warrant, but I defer to the doctor. Incidentally, a superficial, homecoming-queen smile requires little more than the two risorius muscles. So if your goal in expressing emotion is really to minimize effort, go for insincere.

Milionaire hip-hop promoter Russell Simmons told me wealth didn't make him or his friends happy either. "If I know 15 billionaires, I know 13 unhappy people," he said. … Research suggests that [he is] right. A survey of 49 of the Forbes richest found that they weren't any happier than the rest of us.

In August, 2003, a study was released revealing that money can't buy happiness. Beginning in 1975, University of Southern California researcher Richard Easterlin surveyed 1500 persons annually and found: Many people are under the illusion that the more money we make, the happier we'll be. We put all of our resources into making money at the expense of our family and our health…The problem is we don't realize that our material wants increase with the amount of money we make. The study discovered happiness was related to quality time with loved ones, good health, being friendly, having an optimistic outlook, exercising self-control, and possessing a deep sense of ethics.

In the midst of great joy, do not promise anyone anything. In the midst of great anger, do not answer anyone’s letter.

You’ve got to ask! Asking is, in my opinion, the world’s most powerful -- and neglected -- secret to success and happiness.

The man who makes everything that leads to happiness depend upon himself, and not other men, has adopted the very best plan for living happily.

If you observe a really happy man you will find him building a boat, writing a symphony, educating his son, growing double dahlias in his garden, or looking for dinosaur eggs in the Gobi desert. He will not be searching for happiness as if it were a collar button that was rolled under the radiator. He will not be striving for it as a goal in itself. He will have become aware that he is happy in the course of living life twenty-four crowded hours of the day. -- W. Beran Wolfe