Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins. Judaism - He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins. Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins. Anglican - They were our toys first. Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first. Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins. Atheism - There is no toy maker. Polytheism - There are many toy makers. Evolutionism - The toys made themselves. Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys. Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours. Baha'i - All toys are just fine with us. Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin. Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck. Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants. Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second... Hedonism - Hang the rule book! Let's play! 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses. Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses. Baptist - Once played always played. Jehovah's Witnesses - He who "places" the most toys door-to-door, wins. Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins. Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination. Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry. Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play.

We believe in Marxfreudanddarwin. We believe everything is OK as long as you don’t hurt anyone, to the best of your definition of hurt, and to the best of your knowledge. We believe in sex before, during, and after marriage. We believe in the therapy of sin. We believe that adultery is fun. We believe that sodomy’s OK. We believe that taboos are taboo. We believe that everything’s getting better despite evidence to the contrary. The evidence must be investigated And you can prove anything with evidence. We believe there’s something in horoscopes, UFOs and bent spoons; Jesus was a good man just like Buddha, Mohammed, and ourselves. He was a good moral teacher although we think His good morals were bad. We believe that all religions are basically the same– at least the one that we read was. They all believe in love and goodness. They only differ on matters of creation, sin, heaven, hell, God, and salvation. We believe that after death comes the Nothing Because when you ask the dead what happens they say nothing. If death is not the end, if the dead have lied, then it’s compulsory heaven for all excepting perhaps Hitler, Stalin, and Ghengis Khan. We believe in Masters and Johnson. What’s selected is average. What’s average is normal. what’s normal is good. We believe in total disarmament, We believe there are direct links between warfare and bloodshed. Americans should beat their guns into tractors and the Russians would be sure to follow. We believe that man is essentially good, It’s only his behavior that lets him down. This is the fault of society, Society is the fault of conditions. Conditions are the fault of society. We believe that each man must find the truth that is right for him. Reality will adapt accordingly. The universe will readjust. History will alter. We believe that there is no absolute truth excepting the truth that there is no absolute truth. We believe in the rejection of creeds, and the flowering of individual thought

"The Matrix" movies show miracles, but no ultimate power that performs them. Characters make moral choices, but follow no commandments. They pray, but to an undefined god. They believe, but in what?

Gibbon ... said that in Roman society all religions were to the people equally true, to the philosophers equally false, and to the government equally useful. It would be difficult to deny that this is true of some of today's "developed" societies. ... Tolerance with respect to what is not important is easy.

"A story is told of Stanley Jones (1884-1973), which underscores in an excellent way the Christological difference in the meeting between Christians and Hindus. After one of his missionary sermons in a small Indian town, a Hindu scholar come up to Stanley Jones and explained to him: "What the white missionaries can tell us is really nothing new, because we Hindus have a culture several thousand years old. Everything can be found already in our venerable Sanskrit writings. Therefore, I ask you to give me the opportunity, after your next speech, to clarify this fact to the audience." Stanley Jones agreed to the suggestion. He preached the gospel as he always did in which he presented Jesus as the crucified one to the people. The Hindu scholar was then called up to the front to present his criticism. He appeared unsure of himself and quite confused, until he finally just uttered one sentence: "We don't have such a person!" (in Hinduism). He then walked off the stage quickly. This statement confirms the admission that, while profound human wisdom lies in the Hindu writings, this truth still cannot comprehend the unique form of an unmistakable man from Nazareth, who revealed Himself on the cross as the Saviour sent by God for all mankind."

The Brahman attended an evangelistic meeting where Christians glowingly described how Christ had saved them. "You people say you are saved," declared the Brahman. "So am I. As Christ has saved you, so Krishna has saved me." The missionary in charge of the meeting replied, "I am very glad to hear that you are saved - very glad indeed. Now we are going down to the outcaste quarters and are going to see what we can do for these poor people. We will sit on their beds and in their houses and will share their lives to help them. Will you join us?" The Brahman thought a moment and then said, "Well, sahib, I am saved, but I am not saved that far.”

The only answer to all such cavils [universalism, annihilationism] is the cross of Christ. Behind that cross there is no concealed reserve of mercy or love.... Strange it is that they who are most emphatic in asserting that God must give salvation to all men in the next world, are precisely those who dismiss as fanaticism the truth that He gives salvation here and now to those who seek Him.

God never discourages a seeker by judging his or her beliefs to be wrong. Rather, God allows each person to recognize spiritual error or truth by degrees. The story is told a poor grass cutter who found a beautiful stone in the jungle. He had often heard of people finding valuable diamonds and thought this must be one. He took it to a jeweler and showed it to him with delight. Being a kind and sympathetic old man, the jeweler knew that if he bluntly told the grass cutter that his stone was worthless glass, the man would either refuse to believe it or else fall into a state of depression. So instead, the jeweler offered the grass cutter some work in his shop so that he might become better acquainted with precious stones and their value. Meanwhile, the man kept his stone safely locked away in a strongbox. Several weeks later, the jeweler encouraged the man to bring out his own stone to examine it. As soon as he took it out of the chest and looked at it more closely, he immediately saw that it was worthless. His disappointment was great, but he went to the jeweler and said: "I thank you that you did not destroy my hope but aided me instead to see my mistake on my own. If you will have me, I will stay with you and faithfully serve you, as you are a good and kind master." In the same way, God leads back to truth those who have wandered into error. When they recognize the truth for themselves, they gladly and joyfully give themselves in obedient service.