Capitalism - He who dies with the most toys, wins. Judaism - He who buys toys at the lowest price, wins. Catholicism - He who denies himself the most toys, wins. Anglican - They were our toys first. Greek Orthodox - No, they were OURS first. Branch Davidians - He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins. Atheism - There is no toy maker. Polytheism - There are many toy makers. Evolutionism - The toys made themselves. Church of Christ, Scientist - We are the toys. Communism - Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to the opposite of heaven if we catch you selling yours. Baha'i - All toys are just fine with us. Amish - Toys with batteries are surely a sin. Taoism - The doll is as important as the dump truck. Mormonism - Every boy may have as many toys as he wants. Voodoo - Let me borrow that doll for a second... Hedonism - Hang the rule book! Let's play! 7th Day Adventist - He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses. Church of Christ - He whose toys make music, loses. Baptist - Once played always played. Jehovah's Witnesses - He who "places" the most toys door-to-door, wins. Pentecostalism - He whose toys can talk, wins. Existentialism - Toys are a figment of your imagination. Confucianism - Once a toy is dipped in water, it is no longer dry. Non-denominationalism - We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play.