A watermelon farmer was determined to scare off the local kids who went into his watermelon patch every night to eat their fill. After some thought, he made a sign that read, "WARNING! ONE OF THESE WATERMELONS HAS BEEN INJECTED WITH CYANIDE!" He smiled smugly as he watched the kids run off the next night without eating any of his melons. A week later, the farmer was surveying his field. To his satisfaction, no watermelons were missing, but a sign next to his read, "NOW THERE ARE TWO!"

Only those who try to live near God and have formed the habit of faithfulness to Him in the small things of our daily life, can hope in times of need for that special light which shows us our path. To do as well as we can the job immediately before us, is the way to learn what we ought to do next.

Patient: It's been one month since my last visit and I still feel miserable. Doctor: Did you follow the instructions on the medicine I gave you? Patient: I sure did. The bottle said "keep tightly closed."

Christopher Bergerson wasn't wearing a seat belt when his pickup went off a county road west of Mankato, Minn., and he died when he was thrown from the truck. About 10 to 15 feet from his body, State Patrol Sgt. Dave Anderson found a traffic ticket on the ground. It turned out the Thief River Falls man was cited nine days earlier -- for driving without wearing his seat belt. … Bergerson was driving on Blue Earth County Rd. 11 around 3:30 a.m. Wednesday when his truck left the road, vaulted about 150 feet over Hwy. 68, struck a field approach, flew another 40 feet and went over the fence of Minneopa State Park. It then rolled about 130 feet before hitting a tree and catching fire. Bergerson, 29, was pinned underneath.

Always obey your superiors -- if you have any." -- Mark Twain