An elderly woman decided to have her portrait painted. She told the artist, "Paint me with diamond earrings, a diamond necklace, emerald bracelets, a ruby broach, and Rolex watch." "But you are not wearing any of those things," replied the artist. "I know," she said. "It's in case I should die before my husband. I'm sure he'll remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry."

When Adam stayed out very late for a few nights, Eve became upset. "You're running around with other women," she charged. "You're being unreasonable," Adam responded. "You're the only woman on earth." The quarrel continued until Adam fell asleep, only to be awakened by someone poking him in the chest. It was Eve. "What do you think you're doing?" Adam demanded. "Counting your ribs," said Eve.

The real distinction is that <i>one is jealous of what one has, envious of what other people have</i>.

Overt crimes of passion motivated by jealousy are frequent, whereas crimes of envy tend to be secretive. In general it is shameful to be envious but more acceptable to be jealous in protecting what one rightfully possesses.