February 3, 1999
The Top 13 Miracles Not Mentioned in the Bible 13> The Plague of the Hickeys
12> The Parting of Don King's Hair
11> And in these gospels did many sentences begin with the word "And," yet the Net-Grammarians remained silent.
10> The Near-Perfect Slicing of the Pringles 9> Awkward teenage Jesus swinging a date with Nazareth High's head cheerleader.
8> "Moses then parted the red cheeks and let forth a blast which halted the Egyptians in their path."
7> First Try: Jesus turns water into Earl Grey tea.
6> "Water into Wine" and "Loaves and Fishes" were pretty good, but "Oregano into Primo Mexican Weed" was truly impressive.
5> The Supersizing of the Multitude under the Golden Arches
4> Moses' mother letting him wander around the desert for forty years without calling or visiting her in Miami Beach even once.
3> Methuselah wedding Anna Nicole Smith at the age of 893.
2> Apprentice Savior Marvin helping a blind man to hear.
and Topfive.com's Number 1 Miracle Not Mentioned in the Bible...
1> Jesus becoming a brown-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian, despite having been born a Middle Eastern Jew.
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