A breathless silence fell over the congregation. The church was jammed to the doors. The back balcony was crowded. A special offering had been taken and the total given was to be announced at the end of the service. The goal was $20,000. The ushers had finished counting it and brought a note with the total written on it to the pastor. Now was the climactic moment. “The total amount received was,” the pastor began, then his forehead clouded over as he hesitantly read, “$20,000 and three cents.” Pausing a moment, he said, “That’s a strange total. $20,000 and three cents. Three cents! There must be a Scotsman here.” From the balcony came a voice, “Hoots, mon, there are three of us here.” [my thought--turn this into a story about stingy ministers. It would work really well with Chi Alphans]