What passes for optimism is most often the effect of intellectual error.

If one morning I walked on top of the water across the Potomac River, the headline that afternoon would read: PRESIDENT CAN'T SWIM

People often find it easier to be a result of the past than a cause of the future.

The one who says it cannot be done should never interrupt the one who is doing it.

"If Thomas Edison's invention of the electric bulb were reported on tonight's evening news, it would be reported as a threat to the candle industry." Newt Gingrich Internet Commerce Expo '99,

"Some people complain that God put thorns on roses, while others praise Him for putting roses on thorns."

I didn't think it was physically possible, but this both sucks and blows.

One day George grew very sick. As his wife approached him he looked up and smiled. She began to cry but she tried to hold back her tears. When she built up her courage she said "George, During the 47 years that we were married, I was always with you. During the flood that destroyed the house, I was with you. When you had heart surgery, I was with you. When our financial problems were depressing you, I was with you. When the fire burnt down our house, I was with you. And now that you are about to die, I am with you." Then man nodded his head and replied in a soft weak voice "you were with me all those times Mildred. Maybe you are just bad luck."

My Israeli buddy Ron Perry has a charming sense of humor. He told me last week that a Jewish optimist is a guy who says, "Things are going to get so bad we'll all be eating dirt!" And a Jewish pessimist is a guy who says, "There won't be enough dirt to go around!"

"I am not an optimist, because I am not sure that everything ends well. Nor am I a pessimist, because I am not sure everything ends badly. I just carry hope in my heart . . . . Life without hope is an empty, boring and useless life. I cannot imagine that I could strive for something if I did not carry hope in me. I am thankful to God for this gift. It is as big a gift as life itself."

If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised.

There’s no sadder sight than a young pessimist. -- Mark Twain

This pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails. --

Some people have built-in filters that screen out the boos and amplify the hurrahs. Those are the people who never know when they’re in trouble.

Flight Lands On Time, News at 11:00

Airplanes and Christians are two things that the media seem to cover only when they fall.