Thu January 23, 2003 10:05 AM ET STOCKHOLM (Reuters) - A Swedish man, desolate after his wife filed for divorce, converted the family's shares and mutual funds into cash and burned the money -- $81,300, a newspaper reported Thursday. "Bitterness is not uncommon in connection with divorces but it is almost unique that one of the spouses puts fire to all their wealth," Bengt Svensson, public prosecutor in the town of Jonkoping in southern Sweden, told the daily Aftonbladet.

A man was bitten by a stray rabid dog. A neighbor went to see how he was and found him writing frantically. The neighbor told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about writing a will. He said, "Will? What will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite!"

Little Johnny was in the garden filling in a large hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What'cha doing, Johnny?" "My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "I've just buried him." The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?" Johnny patted down the last heap of earth, then replied, "That's because he's inside your dumb cat."

A Marine stationed in Afghanistan recently received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home. It read as follows: Dear Ricky, I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is just too great. I must admit that I have cheated on you twice since you've been gone, and it's not fair to either of us. I'm sorry. Please return the picture of me that I sent to you. Love, Becky The Marine asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they could spare of their girlfriends, sisters, ex-girlfriends, aunts, cousins, etc. In addition to the picture of Becky, Ricky included all the other pictures of the pretty gals he had collected from his buddies. There were 57 photos in that envelope, along with this note. Dear Becky, I'm sorry, but I can't quite remember who you are. Please take your picture from the pile and send the rest back to me. Love, Ricky

If I die, I forgive you. If I recover, we shall see.