A little boy opened the big family Bible. He was fascinated as he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly a dried leaf fell out of the Bible. He picked it up and called: "Mom! Dad! I just found Adam's underwear!"

A teacher asked her students to list what they thought were the present Seven Wonders of the World. The students cast the most votes for: 1. Egypt's Great Pyramids 2. Taj Mahal 3. Grand Canyon 4. Panama Canal 5. Empire State Building 6. St. Peter's Basilica 7. China's Great Wall While gathering the votes, the teacher noted that one student had not turned in her paper yet. She asked the girl if she was having trouble with her list. The girl replied, "Yes, a little. I couldn't quite make up my mind because there were so many." The teacher said, "Well, tell us what you have, and maybe we can help." The girl hesitated, then read, "I think the Seven Wonders of the World are: 1. to see 2. to hear 3. to touch 4. to taste 5. to feel 6. to laugh 7. to love

The History of the Universe in 200 Words or Less Quantum fluctuation. Inflation. Expansion. Strong nuclear interaction. Particle-antiparticle annihilation. Deuterium and helium production. Density perturbations. Recombination. Blackbody radiation. Local contraction. Cluster formation. Reionization? Violent relaxation. Virialization. Biased galaxy formation? Turbulent fragmentation. Contraction. Ionization. Compression. Opaque hydrogen. Massive star formation. Deuterium ignition. Hydrogen fusion. Hydrogen depletion. Core contraction. Envelope expansion. Helium fusion. Carbon, oxygen, and silicon fusion. Iron production. Implosion. Supernova explosion. Metals injection. Star formation. Supernova explosions. Star formation. Condensation. Planetesimal accretion. Planetary differentiation. Crust solidification. Volatile gas expulsion. Water condensation. Water dissociation. Ozone production. Ultraviolet absorption. Photosynthetic unicellular organisms. Oxidation. Mutation. Natural selection and evolution. Respiration. Cell differentiation. Sexual reproduction. Fossilization. Land exploration. Dinosaur extinction. Mammal expansion. Glaciation. Homo sapiens manifestation. Animal domestication. Food surplus production. Civilization! Innovation. Exploration. Religion. Warring nations. Empire creation and destruction. Exploration. Colonization. Taxation without representation. Revolution. Constitution. Election. Expansion. Industrialization. Rebellion. Emancipation Proclamation. Invention. Mass production. Urbanization. Immigration. World conflagration. League of Nations. Suffrage extension. Depression. World conflagration. Fission explosions. United Nations. Space exploration. Assassinations. Lunar excursions. Resignation. Computerization. World Trade Organization. Terrorism. Internet expansion. Reunification. Dissolution. World-Wide Web creation. Composition. Extrapolation? Copyright 1996-1997 by Eric Schulman . This piece was the inspiration for the book A Briefer History of Time and led to the Annals of Improbable Research Universal History Translation Project . Reprinted from the AIR , Volume III, Number 1, January/February 1997, page 27. http://members.bellatlantic.net/~vze3fs8i/hist/hist.html

God created everything by speaking to it ("let there be light") - he created humans by speaking to himself ("let us make man in our image"). {paraphrased}

Did you notice that everything obeyed God except humans. He told the birds to fly and they're still doing it. The fish are still swimming. The sun and the moon still dominate the sky. But not us. We're the only created things that disobeyed. {paraphrased}

God made man to have dominion over the earth. But you can't have dominion over the earth if sin has dominion over you - because then it's sin in charge and not you. {paraphrased}