One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up, so they can get under way. The pilot and co-pilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle. Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the co-pilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses. At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start spooling up and the airplane starts moving down the runway. The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the flight attendants for reassurance. Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical. Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne. Up in the cockpit, the co-pilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the Captain: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna be in trouble!"

When you pack for a trip, figure how much money you need and how many clothes. Then take half the clothes and twice the money.

The man was hanging over the rail, his face green, his eyes glazed. He was seasick, as seasick as it is possible to be. Along came a hardy, seagoing type. "Buck-up friend. Remember, nobody ever died of seasickness." "Oh don't say that," said the man on the rail. "It's only the hope of dying that's keeping me alive."

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Online Booking Leaves Fliers In Wrong Lafayette Associated Press March 1, 2003 LAFAYETTE, Ind. -- Booking flights online has led some travelers bound for Louisiana far afield of their intended destination -- about 761 miles astray. About once a month, a passenger who had expected to step off the plane in Lafayette, La., shows up at Purdue University Airport in west-central Indiana. "Most of the people speak very little or no English," said Chuck Burns, general manager of AmericanConnection, the commercial carrier at the Purdue airport. "We try to accommodate them the best we can and get them down there. A lot of the people are pretty distraught." The problem apparently lies with travelers who use the Internet to book flights and choose the wrong three-letter airport code, confusing West Lafayette's LAF code for Lafayette, La., which has LFT as its code. "You get on Travelocity or one of those sites, the first Lafayette code it gives you is LAF," said Jason Devillier, deputy administrator of the Lafayette Regional Airport in Louisiana. Some people overlook the distinction. The problem with misdirected fliers was more frequent when Northwest Airlink had operations at the Purdue airport, because the airline served both Lafayettes until it pulled out of Purdue in December. Northwest even offered misdirected fliers a special fare to the other Lafayette, Purdue airport Director Betty Stansbury told the Lafayette Journal and Courier. Laura Lowry, a travel agent with Travel Pointe in West Lafayette, said most passengers who book flights know how to avoid the problem. "Since we're here, we're familiar with the Lafayette codes, but a lot of people may not understand," Lowry said. "We've had people who have been on the Internet and not realized the code didn't come up right. They call and say, 'What can I do?' " Similar problems have occurred at airports in Grand Rapids, Mich., and Grand Rapids, Minn., as well as in Rochester, Minn., and Rochester, N.Y., and a host of other U.S. cities. "You feel bad for the people," Burns said. "It's not their fault."