MEMO FROM THE PASTORAL SEARCH COMMITTEE In our search for a suitable pastor, the following scratch sheet was developed for your perusal. Of the candidates investigated by the committee, only one was found to have the necessary qualities. The list contains the names of the candidates and comments on each, should you be interested in investigating them further for future pastoral placements. Noah He has 120 years of preaching experience, but no converts. Moses He stutters; and his former congregation says he loses his temper over trivial things. Abraham He took off to Egypt during hard times. We heard that he got into trouble with the authorities and then tried to lie his way out. David He is an unacceptable moral character. He might have been considered for minister of music had he not fallen. Solomon He has a reputation for wisdom but fails to practice what he preaches. Elijah He proved to be inconsistent, and is known to fold under pressure. Hosea His family life is in a shambles. Divorced, and remarried to a prostitute. Jeremiah He is too emotional, alarmist; some say a real pain in the neck. Amos Comes from a farming background. Better off picking figs. John He says he is a Baptist but lacks tact and dresses like a hippie. Would not feel comfortable around him at a church potluck supper. Peter Has a bad temper, and was heard to have even denied Christ publicly. Paul We found him to lack tact. He is too harsh. His appearance is contemptible, and he preaches far too long. Timothy He has potential, but is much too young for the position. Jesus He tends to offend church members with his preaching, especially Bible scholars. He is also too controversial. He even offended the search committee with his pointed questions. Judas He seemed to be very practical, cooperative, good with money, cares for the poor, and dresses well. We all agreed that he is just the man we are looking for to fill the vacancy as our Senior Pastor. Thank you for all you have done in assisting us with our pastoral search. Sincerely, The Pastoral Search Committee.

source: Anonymous tags: Church, Leadership