TOP TEN WAYS YOU KNOW YOU'RE IN A BAD CHURCH 10. The church bus has gun racks. 9. The church staff consists of Senior Pastor, Associate Pastor and Socio-pastor. 8. The Bible they use is the "Dr. Seuss Version." 7. There's an ATM in the lobby. 6. The choir wears leather robes. 5. Worship services are B.Y.O.S.: "Bring Your Own Snake." 4. No cover charge, but communion is a two-drink minimum. 3. Karaoke Worship Time. 2. Ushers ask, "Smoking or Non-smoking?" 1. The only song the organist knows is "In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida."