A pastor, apparently fed up with all the excuses given over the years to why people don't go to church, included this list in the Sunday bulletin: TEN REASONS WHY I NEVER WASH 1. I was forced to as a child. 2. People who wash are hypocrites -- they think they are cleaner than everybody else. 3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which is best. 4. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped. 5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter. 6. None of my friends wash. 7. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier. 8. I can't spare the time. 9. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer. 10. People who make soap are only after your money.