February 3, 1999 The Top 13 Miracles Not Mentioned in the Bible 13> The Plague of the Hickeys 12> The Parting of Don King's Hair 11> And in these gospels did many sentences begin with the word "And," yet the Net-Grammarians remained silent. 10> The Near-Perfect Slicing of the Pringles 9> Awkward teenage Jesus swinging a date with Nazareth High's head cheerleader. 8> "Moses then parted the red cheeks and let forth a blast which halted the Egyptians in their path." 7> First Try: Jesus turns water into Earl Grey tea. 6> "Water into Wine" and "Loaves and Fishes" were pretty good, but "Oregano into Primo Mexican Weed" was *truly* impressive. 5> The Supersizing of the Multitude under the Golden Arches 4> Moses' mother letting him wander around the desert for forty years without calling or visiting her in Miami Beach even once. 3> Methuselah wedding Anna Nicole Smith at the age of 893. 2> Apprentice Savior Marvin helping a blind man to hear. and Topfive.com's Number 1 Miracle Not Mentioned in the Bible... 1> Jesus becoming a brown-haired, blue-eyed Caucasian, despite having been born a Middle Eastern Jew. [ This list copyright 1999 by Chris White ] [ The Top 5 List top5@gmbweb.com http://www.topfive.com ] [ To forward or repost, please include this section. ] [ You like to receive credit for your work, and so do we. ]

source: The Top 5 List tags: Humor