Things You Never Would Hear Your Jewish Mother Say: "Be good and on Hanukah I'll get You a BB gun!" "How on earth can you see the TV sitting so far back." "Don't bother wearing a jacket - the wind-chill is bound to improve." "Let me smell that shirt - yeah, it's good for another week." "I think a cluttered bedroom is a sign of creativity." "Yeah, I used to skip school, too." "Just leave all the lights on...it makes the house more cheery." "Could you turn the music up louder, so I can enjoy it, too?" "Run and bring me the scissors! Hurry!" "Aw, just turn these undies inside out. No one will ever know." "I don't have a tissue with me - just use your sleeve." "The curfew is a general time to shoot for. It's not like I'm watching the clock or anything." "Well if Timmy's mom says it's okay, that's good enough for me." "Sorry. I only have white bread for that baloney sandwich."