As a public service, here are some common phrases used in the church, along with their English-language equivalents: Christianese: "If it be God's will." Translation: "I really don't think God is going to answer this one. Christianese: "Let's have a word of prayer." Translation: "I am going to pray for a long, long, long time." Christianese: "That's not my spiritual gift." Translation: "Find someone else." Christianese: "Fellowship" Translation: "Organized gluttony." Christianese: "The Lord works in mysterious ways." Translation: "I'm totally clueless." Christianese: "Lord willing . . ." Translation: "You may think I'll be there, but I won't." Christianese: "I don't feel led." Translation: "Can't make me." Christianese: "God led me to do something else." Translation: I slept in instead of going to church. Christianese: "God really helped me with this test." Translation: "I didn't study but I guessed good, so I'm giving God credit in the hope that He helps me again." Christianese: "She has such a sweet spirit!" Translation: "What an airhead!" Christianese: "I have a 'check' in my spirit about him." Translation: "I can't stand that jerk!" Christianese: "I'll be praying for you." Translation: "There's an outside chance I'll remember this conversation later today." Christianese: "Prayer concerns" Translation: "Gossip" Christianese: "In conclusion . . . " Translation: "I'll be done in another hour or so." Christianese: "Let us pray" Translation: "I'm going to pretend to talk to God now, but I'm really preaching at you." Christianese: "You just have to put it in God's hands." Translation: "Don't expect me to help you." Christianese: "God wants to prosper you!" Translation: "Give me all your money."