How Many Church People does it take to screw in a light bulb?
CHARISMATIC: Only one. Hands already in the air.
ROMAN CATHOLICS: None. They use candles.
PENTECOSTALS: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against
the spirit of darkness.
PRESBYTERIANS: None. God has predestined when the lights will be on
and off.
EPISCOPALIANS: Eight. One to call the electrician, and seven to say
how much they liked the old one better.
UNITARIANS: We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or
against the need for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you
have found that light bulbs work for you, that is fine. You are invited
to write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal
relationship with your light bulb, and present it next month at our
annual light bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of
light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent, three-way,
long-life and tinted, all of which are equally valid paths to
luminescence.
METHODISTS: Two. One to change the bulb and one to check the "Manual
for Changing Bulbs in the Methodist Church."
BAPTISTS: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and two or three
committees to approve the change. Oh, and also a casserole.
* LUTHERANS: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

And John Shearman adds to our misery: How many Anglicans does it take
to change a light bulb?
1 Celebrant to bless the new bulb.
3 Acolytes to sit around and make faces.
1 Organist to write a hymn to praise the new bulb.
15 Choir singers (minimum) to sing said hymn.
1 Junior Warden to remove the old bulb and replace it with a new bulb.
1 Assistant clergy to give a eulogy for the old bulb.
100-200 Members of the congregation to answer "We will" when the
celebrant
asks: "Will you who witness this do all in your power to support this
new light?"
5-10 people to form a new congregation using the old bulb.