~ Adolescence: The period when a teenager feels he will never be as dumb as his parents ~ Americans: People with more timesaving devices yet less time than anybody else in the world ~ Banker: A pawnbroker with a manicure ~ Coach: One who is always willing to lay down your life for his job ~ Dentist: A magician who puts metal in your mouth and pulls coins from your pocket ~ Dermatologist: One who makes rash judgments ~ Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock ~ Disarmament: An agreement between nations to scuttle all weapons that are obsolete ~ Efficiency Expert: The person smart enough to tell you how to run a business but too smart to start his own ~ Experience: The name we give our mistakes ~ Honeymoon: A vacation a man takes before beginning work under a new boss ~ Hunch: An idea you're afraid is wrong ~ Incentive: The possibility of getting more money than you earn ~ Kodaclone: Duplicating film. ~ Lame Duck: A politician whose goose is cooked ~ Life Insurance: A policy that keeps you poor so you can die rich ~ Pacifist: A guy who fights everybody but the enemy ~ Planning: The art of putting off until tomorrow what you have no intention of doing today ~ Professor: One who talks in someone else's sleep ~ Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of. ~ Rich Man: One who is not afraid to ask the clerk for something cheaper ~ Tact: The ability to see others as they wish to be seen. ~ Tact: The art of making guests feel at home when that's where you wish they were