These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
Washington [D.C.] is a city of Southern efficiency and Northern charm.
The article cited new research saying that 91% of American women and 85% of men pray--but perhaps most amazing was the finding that one out of five atheists and agnostics prays each day!
Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man. One guy said he wanted to irritate him. He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a sissy." "Oh really? Hmm, didn't know that." Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a sissy and he didn't care!" "You just don't know how to set him off, watch and learn." The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!" "Oh, wow, I didn't know that! Thank you." Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. "You're right; he's unshakable!" The third English man said: "No, no, no, I bet I can really piss him off, you just watch." He walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: "I hear your St. Patrick was really an English man!" "Yeah, that's what your buddies have been telling me."
This 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to the wife's interest in health food and exercise.
When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi.
As they "oohed" and "aahed," the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.
"It's free," Peter replied, "This is Heaven."
Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day; and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth.
The old man asked, "What are the green fees?"
Peter's reply, "This is Heaven! You play for free."
Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out.
"How much to eat?" asked the old man.
"Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it's free!" Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly.
Peter explained, "That's the best part--you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven!"
With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly.
Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong.
The old man looked at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!"
Every man needs one blind eye and one deaf ear so when people applaud, he will hear only half of it, and when people salute, you’ll only see a part of it. -- C. H. Spurgeon
Believe only half of the praise and half of the criticism. -- C. H. Spurgeon