These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
A mist from the pulpit is a fog from the pew.
id: 490 | source: Anonymous | tags: Clarity, Communication
Nostalgia is like a grammar lesson: You find the present tense and the past perfect.
It's so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to say and then don't say it.
More medical humor THE NEW ABRIDGED MEDICAL DICTIONARY (Source: Edmonton Journal, Friday Aug 4, 1995) BARIUM: What doctors do when patients die. COLIC: A sheep dog. D&C: Where Bill Clinton lives. DILATE: To live longer. FESTER: Quicker. HANGNAIL: Coat hook. IMPOTENT: Distinguished, well known. LABOR PAIN: Get hurt at work. MEDICAL STAFF: A doctor's cane. MORBID: A higher offer. NITRATES: Cheaper than day rates. NODE: Was aware of. OUTPATIENT: A patient who fainted. PAP SMEAR: A fatherhood test. PELVIS: Cousin to Elvis. RECOVERY ROOM: A place to do upholstery. RECTUM: Dang near killed 'em. TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at the airport. TERMINAL ILLNESS: Getting sick at your computer. TUMOR: More than one. URINE: Opposite of "You're out".
An efficiency expert concluded a lecture with a note of caution: "You don't want to try these techniques at home." "Why not?" asked someone from the back of the audience. "I watched my wife's routine at breakfast for years," the expert explained. "She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table, and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. 'Honey,' I suggested, 'Why don't you try carrying several things at once?'" The person in the audience asked, "Did it save time?" The expert replied, "Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven."
id: 1575 | source: Anonymous | tags: Criticism, Time Management