Glen's Quotes Db (3169 total)

These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.

A story about a student named Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye, who was admitted at the prestigious Oxford University, and was now living in the hall of residence in his first year there. His clan was so excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but were concerned how he'd do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit (no doubt carrying reinforcements of whiskey and oatmeal.) "And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked. "Mother," he replied in his thick brogue. "They're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams and screams, away into the night." "Oh Donald! How do you manage to put up with these awful noisy English neighbours?" "Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."

"Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others."

HANDY ENGINEERING CONVERSIONS ~ Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter: Eskimo Pi ~ 2000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton ~ 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope ~ Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement: 1 bananosecond ~ Weight an evangelist carries with God: 1 billigram ~ Time it takes to sail 220 yards at 1 nautical mile per hour: Knot-furlong ~ 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Serling ~ Half of a large intestine: 1 semicolon ~ 1000 aches: 1 megahurtz ~ Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarsepower ~ Shortest distance between two jokes: A straight line (think about it for a moment) ~ 453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake ~ 1 million-million microphones: 1 megaphone ~ 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles ~ 365.25 days: 1 unicycle ~ 2000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbirds ~ 10 cards: 1 decacards ~ 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 Fig Newton ~ 1000 grams of wet socks: 1 literhosen ~ 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche ~ 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin ~ 10 rations: 1 decoration ~ 100 rations: 1 C-ration ~ 2 monograms: 1 diagram ~ 8 nickels: 2 paradigms ~ 2.4 statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League ~ 100 Senators: Not 1 decision

Humor has a tremendous place in a sordid world. It’s more than just a laughing matter. If you can see things out of whack, then you can certainly see how things can be in whack." -- Dr. Seuss

[As Lewis was grieving the death of his wife he said:] "What do people mean when they say 'I'm not afraid of God because I know He is good?' Have they never been to a dentist?" By: C.S. Lewis Source: Of Grief Observed, pg 50-51