These are quotes which stood out to me, possibly for use in a sermon someday. Their presence here does not mean I agree with them, it merely shows that I might want to reference them later. The default view is five random selections. Use the tag list on the right to view all quotes relevant to that theme.
Capitalism is the astounding belief that the most wickedest of men will do the most wickedest of things for the greatest good of everyone
We do not talk - we bludgeon one another with facts and theories gleaned from cursory readings of newspapers, magazines and digests.
YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN OUT OF COLLEGE TOO LONG WHEN... ~ Your potted plants stay alive. ~ 6:00 a.m. is when you get up, not when you go to sleep. ~ You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work. ~ You carry an umbrella. ~ You watch the Weather Channel. ~ Your friends marry and divorce instead of hook-up and break-up. ~ You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7. ~ Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up." ~ You're the one calling the police because those kids next door don't know how to turn down the stereo. ~ You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore. ~ Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up. ~ You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's. ~ Sleeping on the couch is a no-no. ~ You no longer take naps from noon to 6:00 p.m. ~ Dinner and a movie: The *whole* date instead of the beginning of one. ~ MTV News is no longer your primary source of information. ~ You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time. ~ Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, Diet Pepsi, and Ho-Ho's. ~ Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
If an alien from outer space were teleported to the United States, given a copy of the Christian Scriptures, and asked to assess the sanity of our faith’s adherents, he would no doubt conclude that American Christians are a rather schizophrenic lot. Walking into one of our evangelical churches, he would probably observe men, some of them long-haired, greeting women, many of them short-haired and almost none of them wearing any kind of head covering, with both men and women stubbornly refusing to kiss each other (in a “holy” manner, of course) at all! In Gen-X churches, at least, our intrepid extraterrestrial would be astonished to see young men and women in their 20’s and 30’s failing to rise in the presence of any elders entering their worship service. Our stupefied spaceman would be baffled to discover Pentecostals dancing within the church walls but not outside of them, Presbyterians dancing outside the church walls but not within them, and Southern Baptists not dancing anywhere! Further, all of these bodies would rarely, if ever, be seen using tambourines and cymbals (unless, of course, the cymbals were part of drum set). And even if certain members of these churches might be found to occasionally take wine for medicinal reasons, probably none of them, to the utter confusion of our befuddled bystander, would even think of administering beer to the poor, downtrodden, and dying of their congregations. In the end, our marveling Martian would probably throw up his hands in resignation and blast away in a trail of stardust, desperately seeking a group of people who actually do what their Holy Book tells them to do. Our friendly foreigner, of course, has just dealt firsthand with the challenges of cultural hermeneutics and contemporary application. He seems to have assumed (quite naturally) that any command found in the Christian Scriptures would be binding upon Christians of all times, and that cultural differences would have little effect upon the application of an ancient text to a modern setting. Although most of us would probably claim to be at least somewhat more hermeneutically savvy than our vexed visitor, no doubt all of us could identify with the frustration of trying to understand why ancient commands may sometimes be applied differently in our modern context—or sometimes not at all.
A seaman meets a pirate, and they take turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's peg-leg, hook, and eye patch the seaman asks, "So, how did you end up with the peg-leg?" The pirate replies, "We was caught in a monster storm and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin' me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg off." "Blimey!" said the seaman. "What about the hook?" "We were boardin' a trader ship, pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the fracas me hand got chopped off." "My word!" remarked the seaman. "And how came ye by the eye patch?" "A seagull droppin' fell into me eye," answered the pirate. "You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked with amazement. "Well," said the pirate, "it was me first day with the hook . . .